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  “Why won’t you at least let me take you out on a date?” he continues.

  I let out a sigh. “Fine,” I return. “Have it your way.” I spin and start moving toward the door.

  “Don’t go,” he requests, snatching me by the arm.

  “Are you going to stop asking questions?” I search.

  “I don’t know,” he answers bashfully.

  “Codie,” I sigh. “No matter how many times you ask, it’ll be the same thing. I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t want a husband. I just want to get laid.”

  “You’re not like any other woman I’ve met,” he says.

  “That’s because you’ve never really been anywhere outside this town other than where you went to college, and even then, you didn’t experience much of life because you were too busy studying from what you said,” I remind.

  “But, I really like you,” he presents.

  “You hardly know me,” I state.

  “Exactly,” he answers.

  “That doesn’t make any sense,” I challenge.

  “I know. We’ve been sleeping together for two years, on again, off again, and I know I like you, but I don’t even really know you. You don’t tell me anything about yourself and I have to guess based off of our time together or when I see you in town.”

  “That’s what I like about this,” I comment.

  “You’re the same way with everyone in town…except Trudy and the Lenards,” he breaches.

  “Don’t,” I direct.

  “I want to know you,” he replies.

  “You know enough.”

  “All I know, aside from the obvious is that your a gorgeous woman who has a rockin’ body, loves to have sex, has her own store here in town, loves dogs, lives alone for some odd reason, doesn’t want a relationship, yet gets along with a single mother and her two sons.”

  “Are you done?” I snap.

  “Maybe,” Codie returns. “Plus, I’ve never been inside your house.”

  “Goodnight,” I say, continuing my way toward the door.

  “Please, Laurie. Don’t go,” he begs, following me.

  “Unless you can come to grips with that this will never be more than sex, Codie, I think it’s best that I go.”

  “I’m sorry that someone has hurt you before,” he begins.

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I jerk away from him. “Goodnight, Codie.” As I get the door open, Cain and Mable are on my heels, ready to leave.

  “Laurie, come on,” he pleas, chasing after me.

  I continue out the door, hop into my truck and make my way home without another word. Ten minutes later, I’m barging into my own home, stomping upstairs, and proceed to masturbate to some porn before taking a hot bath to soak the tension that still permeates in my body.

  Eight - Laurie

  A few days after we return to town from visiting Trudy’s family on the reserve, I’m with her and the boys over at their house for Marcus’ seventeenth birthday. There are several of Marcus’ and Jacob’s friends over, hanging out while Trudy and I finish cooking them dinner. Marcus just started opening the gifts from his friends once we were able to pull them away from their video game. The boys will be going to a movie afterward on their own thanks to me. Trudy’s had a hard time letting go since Mike passed. The theater is in walking distance from where she lives and the boys can manage the trek alone.

  Marcus is a smart boy, being one of the top students in his class. There’s only about forty other students in his grade, but I can tell he’s still a lot smarter than the rest of them from some of the conversations we’ve had. He’s got a good physique to him, that of a basketball player, even though he’s not too big into playing sports for school. He’s athletic, but he enjoys having his head stuck in books instead. Jacob is the opposite; still a smart kid, but prefers to be more active than his older brother.

  “Hey, old man,” I tease Marcus. “Pass the juice, please.”

  “Sure,” he laughs in return.

  The eight boys around the dinner table are silent other than the sound of them chewing away on the ribs, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, grilled vegetables and a bunch of other treats. It’s a good thing Trudy and I know how to cook for large groups of people.

  “So, what movie are you boys planning on seeing tonight?” Trudy probes, trying to make small talk.

  “We can’t agree,” Daniel answers since the rest of the boys have their mouths full of food. “Either Raiders of the Lost Ark or the new science fiction that’s out.”

  Trudy and I stare at them in awe for a moment.“You know what Raiders of the Lost Ark is?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” Daniel answers as the rest of them nod.

  “Wow!” I exclaim. “Maybe today’s youth still has hope.”

  Trudy laughs.

  “They only know what it is because of us,” Jacob explains. “Because of you, Laurie.”

  Not long after Mike died, whenever Trudy and the boys needed some support or distraction, I had them watching movies. Movies can work wonders if you watch the right ones.

  “Nice,” I reply with a smile.

  “Why don’t we join them,” Trudy suggests.

  The boys groan, but try to cover for it with moans of enjoying the meal when they realize they’ve been caught.

  “They’re big boys,” I object. “And, they’re good guys. They don’t need their mom tagging along.”

  Trudy pouts.

  “Whichever one we don’t see tonight, mama, we can watch with you and Laurie next weekend,” Marcus offers.

  I swear the boy is three times his age most days.

  “That would be lovely, sweetie,” Trudy replies. “Thank you.”

  Twenty minutes later, after two large helpings of cake each, the boys offer to help clean up before the movie. I refuse their assistance before Trudy gets to say anything, knowing that cleaning up from our meal will keep her busy long enough to prevent her from trying to follow the boys to the theater.

  For the next few hours, Trudy, Cain, Mable, and I hang out, waiting for the boys to get home. She’s constantly checking her cellphone to make sure she hasn’t missed a call or text message from them.

  “Hey, Laurie,” Trudy calls as we get out the last gift for Marcus and set it on the counter.

  We had gotten him a few extra things, but didn’t want to give them in front of the other boys. Jacob would be able to handle seeing what the gifts are, but some of the other boys aren’t as mature.

  “Yeah?” I return.

  “Did you ever want kids at any point?” she asks.

  “What?” I choke out from her question thrown from way out of left field.

  “Kids,” she repeats. “Did you ever want one or two at some point.”

  My eyes fall to the floor. “Once,” I mumble.

  “What happened?” she pries gently.

  “Life,” I answer.

  “You’re never going to clue me in on things before you got here to Willow Rock, are you?” she states.

  “No…it’s better that way,” I answer. Looking up at her when she remains quiet, I find Trudy studying me.

  She half smiles and nods, but doesn’t press.

  “I don’t want to get into it,” I sigh, knowing that by her lack of words she’s hoping I’ll share more. “The past is in the past; and that’s where I want to keep it.”

  “I get it,” she replies after a few seconds. “I do. It’s not easy sometimes talking about or thinking about Mike, especially when the boys ask, because they look so much like their father. But, sometimes you need to remember where you came from to make sure you keep moving forward.”

  The memories of my past haunt me everyday which is why I’m guarded and cautious. There’s no way I’d ever be able to forget, especially with Jack’s blood on my hands and Antonio on the loose. It took a few years of Jack’s ghost visiting my dreams at night for me to come to terms with killing him.

  If I ever find out that Antonio is dead, I may be safe
to some extent, but I'll still always have to look over my shoulder. Even if all of them were dead, the memories will always haunt me and I’d be wondering if someone else knows, and if so, will they be looking for me?

  Death is permanent. There’s no coming back if you get off the ferryman’s boat. You become a changed person when you face the Reaper and deny him your soul. He knows the truth and always gets his payment eventually.

  “Yeah,” I huff as a shiver runs up my spine. After a few moments, I offer, “Let’s just say…for a brief moment in my life, I was on track for the white picket fence and everything else that comes along with it.”

  “What happened?” Trudy asks, treading lightly.

  My face scrunches when I look at her and she knows the answer — not good.

  A commotion is heard just outside on the front porch, indicating that the boys are back.

  “Hey, mama,” Marcus and Jacob greet at the same time as they enter the house. “Laurie.”

  “Did you boys have a good time?” Trudy searches with a smile. “Which movie did you see?”

  “We saw Raiders of the Lost Ark and the guys liked it better than they thought they would,” shares Jacob excitedly.

  “Wonderful,” Trudy says with a smile. “Are you boys still hungry or did you fill up on snacks at the theater?”

  “Nah, I’m good, mama,” answers Marcus. “Thank you.”

  “Yeah,” agrees Jacob. “I’m good.”

  “Good,” Trudy replies. “Why don’t you come sit at the kitchen table anyway. We’ve still got something to give you, Marcus.”

  Marcus perks up and he and Jacob rush to the table.

  Once we get settled, I follow Trudy’s lead. “Well, technically this gift is from Laurie, but she wanted me to help give it since she wanted, actually needed, my permission to give it.”

  A smile cracks on Marcus’ face.

  “What is it?” Jacob asks, excited to know as if it’s his own birthday.

  For an effect, I pause before reaching down and grabbing the gift bag that sits on the floor near to the back door. “Jacob,” I preface. “Your time will come, but not yet, okay?”

  Jacob nods though his expression reveals that he has no clue as to what I’m talking about. Marcus on the other hand has a look of realization as I place the bag in front of him. He carefully removes the box and unwraps it. When his gaze falls upon what rests inside the box, his eyes well with water as he looks back and forth between his mother and me.

  “Seriously?” he checks as if his eyes are deceiving him.

  “Seriously,” Trudy confirms.

  “Where is it?” Jacob inquires as Marcus takes the keys out of the box.

  “At my house. In the garage,” I answer with a grin.

  “Thank you, mama,” Marcus says excitedly as he hugs Trudy. He turns and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “Thank you, Laurie.”

  “You’re welcome,” Trudy answers, getting emotional.

  “You deserve it,” I return. “You’re a good boy. You do well in school and you deserve something for all of your hard work and for everything you do…that includes being a good son to your mama.”

  “Thank you!” Marcus replies.

  “I wanna see it,” Jacob comments.

  “You can come over in the morning to get it,” I state. “I know you know how to drive, but there’s something else I have for you to come and get in the morning as well.”

  “What?” Jacob asks.

  “You’ll see,” I return with a smile, looking to Marcus who is speechless.

  Nine - Laurie

  It’s a good thing that I’m a morning person because Marcus and Jacob are knocking on my door at eight.

  “I’m so sorry,” Trudy apologies with a yawn as I open the door.

  “Why? You know I’m up early and I expected this,” I laugh.

  “You don’t understand,” she comments. “They had me up at six…on my day off.”

  My smile grows in reply.

  “Which way do you want me to go?” asks Marcus.

  “You can cut through the house or you can head right back outside using the garage,” I say. “Whichever you prefer.”

  The boys dart down the hall, through the mud room, and into the two-car garage. Trudy and I perch ourselves in the doorway as we watch the boys inspect the truck. Cain and Mable follow them, feeding off of the boys’ excitement.

  “It’s not a brand new one,” I explain. “But, she’s pretty close.”

  “I don’t care,” Marcus replies happily. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

  “She shouldn’t need any work anytime soon, but you boys should have all the tools you need between your garage and mine if you should need to fix her up,” I remind.

  Their dad was great at fixing cars and trucks and he’s the one I learned a lot from to be able to do a lot more than most women.

  Marcus puts the key in the ignition and turns it just enough for the radio to click on.

  “I set a few stations to the ones you like,” I announce. “Feel free to add more. She’s yours now.”

  Twenty minutes later, the six of us leave. Trudy and Jacob head home while I have Marcus take Cain, Mable, and me for a drive.

  “Where are we going?” Marcus asks after I instruct him to stay straight to head out of town.

  “You’ll see,” I return with a smile.

  Thirty minutes later, after several text messages back and forth with Trudy about how the drive is going and if we’re there yet, Marcus and I arrive at Henderson’s Gun Range. The excited smile that has been plastered all over Marcus’ face since the moment I saw him this morning disappears as he takes in the surroundings.

  “It’s time for the last part of your present,” I inform.

  “Seriously?” he checks with a very controlled tone.

  “Seriously,” I verify. “You’re ready to start learning how to shoot?”

  “How did you get mama to agree to this?” he asks, staring up at the big sign on the building.

  “It was easier to convince her of this than the truck,” I share.

  “Really?” he chuckles.

  “Yep…but, I have my ways,” I tease.

  “Really?” he checks with a smirk.

  “Really,” I confirm.

  “Okay,” he says with a hint of confidence, like he knows he’s being given a huge responsibility and is willing to accept it.

  We’re not from a dangerous town, especially when it comes to the people in it. We only have six deputies and one sheriff and our crime rate is next to nothing. When the tourists come in, there’s a little activity but it’s just little stuff. Nothing major happens: just the usual stupid drunkard type of shenanigans that occur. The town isn’t a huge gun town, but most of the men do own at least one or two for hunting or to scare off any large or small critters that may pass by their properties from time to time.

  I convinced Trudy to let me teach Marcus how to use a gun, stating that it’s better to have the skill and not need it, than need it and not have it. Most of the men from the tribe prefer bows and knives, but have some guns for emergencies. Plus, since Trudy owns a gun and knows how to use it, I remind her that it’s time Marcus learns before he or Jacob find it. Aside from the fact that Marcus is a responsible young man, I can’t call him a kid anymore since he’s only one year away from being an adult. Marcus will learn a lot about himself and the world from learning how to defend himself.

  “Well,” I begin, “you already know wrestling moves and some self defense that I’ve taught you. Now, it’s time to know how to handle a weapon.”

  Jerry, the owner of the range, gets Marcus and me set up at the beginners side. I sit with Marcus as he watches a basic, and required, gun safety video before he can get started. He takes a quick test and gets his membership to the range, under my account. Next, Jerry does a rundown of a few things about the range and other gun type instructions with Marcus before turning us loose. Once we’ve set up the target, before I have Marc
us put on his headphones, I go over a few things with him.

  “Remember,” I begin, “there are several things to always remember when holding and handling a gun. Rule number one, regardless if the gun is loaded or not, do not ever point it at someone unless…unless you need to for self defense. Always have the barrel facing the ground while you hold it until you’re ready to shoot the target.”

  “Got it,” Marcus answers nervously.

  “Rule number two, relax,” I encourage. I give him a second to breathe out a few of his jitters. “Now, as you can see,” I say, ejecting the magazine clip out, “this gun is empty. For safety sake, it’s best to have a gun empty at all times until you plan to use it. When you’re done practicing, you always empty out the last remaining bullets, even if it’s by you ejecting the clip and removing them without firing it.” I demonstrate the actions of loading and unloading.

  Marcus nods. “Mama says guns aren’t safe.”

  With a soft smile, I take three items out of my purse and place them on the table around the gun. “You see these?”

  “Yeah,” Marcus returns with a puzzled look.

  “These could be unsafe,” I say flatly.

  Marcus laughs. “How can your keys, a paperclip, and a pen be unsafe?”

  “Because,” I say, waiting for a few extra seconds for dramatic effect, “even these items…as regularly looking as they are…can be used as a weapon.”

  “Seriously?” Marcus gasps with an uncertain chuckle.

  “Seriously,” I confirm. “The government can say what they want about guns, knives, and even certain sized liquids going onto an airplane…but, even these items can be used to kill someone. That is, if someone really wanted to do anything.”

  “How?”

  “Do you really want to know the answer to that question?” I check.

  “Yes, and no,” Marcus admits. “I want to know to be aware, but no in the sense of knowing how I or someone else could.”

  “When you grab a pen like this,” I comment, grabbing it at one end with the other running down my forearm, “whether the cap is still on or not, it can do damage. An eye, the jugular or even the thigh can be penetrated with it if you use enough force.” My hand moves around slowly, demonstrating the action of where and how to strike. I give him a second to process my statement. “The same goes for a paperclip and keys. It’s all a matter of how you hold them and how you use them.” I illustrate the different ways in which to hold the last two items and manipulate them to cause damage.